I can't believe Nov is almost half over. It has been a very busy month at our house I guess. Jaxon and Jason have both been sick for the last week. The crap is going around. Jaxon is still trying to recover. It's breathing treatments and suction all day long. He went for his 1st round of synagis shots this morning. It was a lot harder than last year. Since he's older now it just broke his little heart when they stuck him. He had to get 2 shots this time because of his weight. He will get shots once a month through March. This shot is not a vaccination it is actually anti-bodies against RSV (respiratory virus) which hospitalized him twice last year. Since he was born early he didn't get these anti-bodies most babies get, and he's still high risk because his lungs are so damaged and he's on oxygen at night. If you are all interested here is a link to the synagis website and the 1st diagram on this page shows the difference between a term baby and a premature babies airways when they have RSV http://www.synagis.com/what-is-rsv.aspx..
I pushed for the shots for him because I know they give him the best possible chance at a healthy winter. They are very expensive so insurance can drag their feet approving them. But we finally got them approved through both insurances.
I had a NICU flashback today on the way to work. I guess Jaxon getting shots kind of brought it on. That is the most difficult part even though he is a healthy year old I guess you never get past almost losing him. I remember walking into the big open nurses station at the back of the NICU after having been gone for maybe 30min for lunch to see his door open, overhead lights on and nurses running everywhere. The neonatologist was standing in his room overseeing every move and watching his monitor. Things were going bad in a hurry. He had gotten a fungal infection in his blood. His blood pressure had dropped, his sugars were out of whack, and he was having seizures and his respiratory was fading fast. I just stood there not knowing what to do thinking "this may be it." Nurse Kathy told me to go into his room and she had me put gloves on and just hold my hands on his tiny little body while they worked. He just kept seizing under my hands. He had 5 IV's and several blood transfusions that day. I stood with my hands on his little body for several hours. The heat lamp for his bed to keep him warm made the gloves on my hands feel like they were melting, and my arms were so bruised from holding them over the sides of his bed. My hands and arms could have fallen off and I would never have let go. They finally got him stable but he kept seizing so I asked the next neonatologist to give him more medication to stop it and she agreed and finally they stopped. That was the last time he ever had a seizure.
Every time you step foot in the unit to go see your baby there is the dreaded walk to his room, you never really know what you are going to find. Is it a good day or a bad day. But I'll tell you going to eat lunch everyday after was very nerve racking. At our next care conference meeting we were asked to make one of the most difficult decisions we ever had to make. If this were to happen again and his heart began to fail what did we want done.
I haven't shared that day much and I guess part of me needs to so thanks for letting me share.
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